I returned home from the mountains yesterday. We spent the majority of the weekend in a cabin with my brother’s family, my mom, and our dog Luna. There was sunshine. A bike. Lots of little boys. And loud wind in the trees. The best kind of noise…
The owners of the cabin had advertised WiFi in the cabin, so I made no preparations for my time away. I was gone Saturday noon until mid-day Monday. Not a long trip by normal human standards. Yet it felt like a huge voyage.
As fortune had it, the WiFi didn’t work. I got a signal on my phone for only a few minutes, twice, during the 48 hour respite. Not surprisingly, I was transformed. And rapidly. By Sunday morning, I’d tossed the iPhone in the corner, hid the computer, and stepped away from my responsibilities with work. This isn’t the norm for me since I started this blog back in November; I’ve been plugged in nearly every waking hour of every day. I haven’t taken a full day away from technology since last fall. Not requisite per se, but the way I’ve lived through the evolution of this blog and my time in social media. Part necessity to feel thorough, part insanity, and possibly part-addiction; social media can squeeze into any space. Maybe, a little like a bedbug.
I was different upon my arrival home. More present with the boys, making different decisions, and moving at a new pace. I was letting time unfold instead of folding pieces of life into time. No racing around, checking my pocket, drafting e-mails in my head, writing and re-writing blogs.
Just two days unplugged and the racetrack seemed to fade. On the way back into Seattle, I pulled off the highway and had an impromptu picnic overlooking Lake Washington with the boys. I just couldn’t let go of my time with them. Life felt so real, so good.
No way would I have done that (unplanned picnic with work to do at home) had there been WiFi in the cabin. Which is, of course, ultimately crazy. This is the stuff we’re all living for. This unplanned, unexpected, isolated time with the people we love. The center of all that matters in most of our lives. It’s just that work and the concept of “urgent” gets in the way.
I was thinking today (while back at clinic and re-attached to the iPhone, laptop, pager, & desktop) about brain drain and how I’m in line to be the next poster child.
The New York Times writer, Matt Richtel has been writing about the effect of our digital world on our lives, our brains and our functionality in a series called, Your Brain on Computers. Although my iPhone, laptop and other devices allow me to constantly contribute to and learn from the (non)medical world around me, Matt Richtel points out that, “When people keep their brains busy with digital input, they are forfeiting downtime that could allow them to better learn and remember information, or come up with new ideas.”
Just think of what I’d know if I didn’t spend so much time here.
Joking aside, Matt Richtel followed a group of neuroscientists on a 3 day remote excursion without digital technology as they evaluated their changed attention and processing speeds. What they describe (a clutter free slow down) is exactly how I felt. And I didn’t read the article until I returned home! Relaxation is a powerful thing. Yet many of us have none of it, particularly while raising young children.
Mr Richtel has written about the increasingly large debate surrounding attention, distraction, and the speed at which we live and process information in the 21st century. Read his work detailing the price of technology on your life. This urgent-get-right-back-to-you-status-update lifestyle comes at great costs. Even though occasionally it reaps great reward, too.
Certainly starved for some more down time, this unexpected, un-wired weekend was illustrative. I know I’m out of balance. No finger-wagging, please. But I will think about learning to compartmentalize my streams of information better.
Learn from my bad example. Turn off your phone, hide it under the couch for a week(end), and respond to your e-mail or Facebook account 3 days from now. A small price to pay for such a lovely reward: time.
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Viki says
You have TWO important revelations here: 1) the absence of distraction, and 2) the intentional presence of PLAY, the ultimate antidote to brain drain. (See book by Stuart Brown titled Play if you haven’t already.)
PS: loved the Richtel series. I deleted twitter from my phone one day when I started to get distracted while my preschooler was telling a long story and checked twitter. She said “mama, that’s rude!” I’ll have to be a lame-o who tweets from the Web at midnight. 🙂
HereWeGoAJen says
I’m glad you had such a lovely trip!
I manage my technology by only using my laptop as a desktop. If I have to sit at this desk, I can’t be overwhelmed. (My phone is just a phone- no internet, no pictures. I leave it in my car.)
Katherine says
What a great reminder of the value of down time. I am going to completely ‘unplug’ this Labor Day weekend and will not check my email, facebook or blackberry for 3 days. It sounds scary, but I can’t wait. Thanks for sharing your experience and inspiring others to do the same.
Katherine says
thanks for sharing your experience. I has inspired me to commit to unplug this weekend and not check email, facebook, or work stuff for the whole weekend. My family deserves my undivided attention for at least 48 hours. And the rest of the world can wait.
Katie says
I’m glad you were able to truly get away from it all. It’s funny, when I worked outside of the home, I made the effort to step away from technology since I was overwhelmed by it during the week. Now that I am at home, the days blur together and I probably can’t recall the last techology-free day I had (I even blogged the day of my c-section!). I do try to stay off of the computer when Will is awake, but that means a lot of my time is spend at night, when my husband is home. The funny thing is, a lot of the time, I don’t even have anything to really “do,” on the computer, it’s more of a habit.
I think it might be time to renew my old habit of stepping away from technology for at least the weekend. Thanks for the reminder!
leif Jenkinsxon says
Dear Mama Doc:
Just found this essay. I ran into a you-tube music video (wired. Sigh.) about motherhood. Maybe you missed it. “The Mother”, by Brandi Carlile. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrF4yttb-io This is the best version, for me, anyway. You may want to preview it – maybe it is too much for the kids. I just wish i had seen it before the son and grandkids were born – it expresses the feelings i had and needed to have expressed, know i wasn’t alone, and I’m just a father. The language is beyond PG13, and the video was probably a cell phone, and the audience is unruly (Wired. Sigh.), but the intro is important. There are other versions without the intro, including on her only non-rock album. She’s a stunning singer-songwriter when in this mode.
Periodically my cell is off, or at home when I’m gone. Grew up with dial phones on the wall, and a limited number of calls allowed per month, long-distance was emergency only. Somehow we survived. The cord didn’t reach the living room, much less the car. Hard to give up WIKI and PFC (Playing For Change), but i do it, and it is reports like your that help me do it. Thank You!