So what about kids and chores? My take is that it’s personal. But also I’ll hint that I think chores are a great opportunity to build community and citizenship. Research has found great lifelong reward from doing childhood chores (think: less drug use, higher self-esteem, more sound relationships, beginning a career path, less anxiety, etc). I mean with those findings, sign me up! But it’s possible not everyone agrees and research may not be what sways you. It may be a need to get things done around the house. A popular poll (done way back in 2001) found that 75% of people feel children do fewer chores today than 10 or 15 years ago. I don’t know if that’s just recall bias or pessimism or favorable historians talking. But…
A smattering of opinions about chores:
- Kids and Chores
- Age by Age Chore Chart
- Chores and Responsibility
- Children need chores not desks — I really like this short take
What do you think; is there controversy here at all? Do you think chores help transition our children into responsible adults?
Tracie says
I was wondering how you feel about allowance for doing chores? My 9 yo daughter and I have been having this discussion. I started chores for her with the thought we should all contribute to the household to make it run smoothly, and you should not be paid for that. However, my daugther made an excellent point the other day. She would like to save money for special things, but she is too young to get a job, so how is she supposed to earn money? I am torn because this is a very valid point for her to make. Any suggestions?
Elizabeth says
Tracie, we let our 7-year-old earn money by learning about adult careers, while requiring her to do chores around the house because she is part of the family. See more at https://www.earnmykeep.com/ . We’ve been very happy with this program.
Jen says
My daughter(8)gets a three part allowance. 1/3 goes to savings, 1/3 to charity fund, 1/3 to her. Chores are required and are separate from allowance. The only thing we pay her for is helping out with her brothers when they are at our Dojo while my husband teaches. She gets$2 a week for this. Chores she must do as her contribution to the household and to learn responsibility.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Jen,
I love this 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 concept. This comes from Wendy Mogel, PhD (her book– Blessing of a Skinned Knee), yes?
My nieces get $3/week and divide it just like that. I love this idea and will include it in a post about allowance.
Any hiccups?
Jen says
Yes it is From Wendy’s book(a great read even if you aren’t Jewish which we are :)). We also do a half and half with the two boys who are two young for the 1/3 thing. They get half in their savings and half in Tzedakah(Charity Box). We pool all the Tzedakah money with our loose change and do various donations about 2-3 times a year. So far no hiccups in the system and My daughter loves taking her Tzedakah money and helping us figure what charity we want to support at any given time. She is a very generous child.
Viki says
I didn’t know this was controversial. My proudest accomplishment was tapping into the independence and helpfulness that comes with certain stages. The kids are part of the family and need to chip in. Some things they do are part of being responsible for themselves. Changing clothes, keeping track of equipment/clothing for activities, putting clothes in the hamper, helping sort and put away their own things. Part of what they do is just being part of the family – they help set and clear the table, load and unload the dishwasher. I’ll have to read the links to see what the fuss is about.
We probably need a separate post on money. We don’t pay for chores. Clean clothing is reward enough for doing laundry. 🙂
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Agreed. I will do a separate post about allowance/money in the home. Even more personal than the chores decision but happy to get on it. Will put it on the list!
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Tracie,
Your young entrepreneur does make a good point! But you get to decide. Children don’t have \jobs\ out of the house for MANY reasons (you could spell that out for her….but often we learn the downsides to deliverables/stress/obligations only by experience). Earning opportunities (that cost money) may be a great way for you to both grant your daughter \extras\ without feeling like you are give give giving again and again…and she could have some idea of \work\ too.
But I like how you’re thinking. Money-earning opps may be separate from chores…Good luck!