Recently I saw a patient for his 7 year old well child check. He was in the office with his entire family for an evening appointment. My medical assistant got his weight, height, blood pressure, and completed his screening exams. In the hall, she mentioned to me that he said he was going to be a scientist when he grew up. She was charmed (clearly) and I was weak in the knees when I entered the exam room. I mean, endearing and sweet, robust and proactive, his dreams exceeded the typical 7 year old. I suppose I thought this partly because of my path in life (science-y and full of many years of science education). Of course there is nothing ultimately graded about dreaming to be a scientist when compared to dreaming to be an astronaut, a carpenter, a designer, a gardener, a botanist, an artist, or a teacher (this list goes on and on). What we want for children is far wider than their title–what we want is contentment and enjoyment in their career. Most of us often love when people tell us they want to be “us” when they grow up. It’s affirming, right? One reason you have to be careful from whom you seek career advice. For most, it will often sound a lot like a transcript of what they have done. I’ve been thinking about this since the visit because of what happened next…
I entered the room and greeted his family. I sat down at the computer to show them his growth grid, blood pressure, hearing, and vision results. And although I don’t usually ask 7 year-olds what they are going to be when they grow up, I asked my patient. I mean I was putty after what I’d heard in the hall and I was looking for dessert– I wanted to hear it myself. I looked up from the computer, “My medical assistant told me you have big dreams about what you want to do when you grow up. What do you want to be?”
“I want to be a Dad.”
Nearly fell off my stool. Maybe because my question was redundant (and pointless) since I already knew the answer. But, then, it turned out, I didn’t. Redundancy was not an issue here.
I mean, this was a first for me. This 7 year old wants to be a Dad. It was just so endearing…There was a silence in the room after he spoke, the pride-infused smiles of his parents taking up all the bandwidth. I gobbled up his words, witnessed his priorities, and really lived into the moment. I had one of those beats in my day where I was just so genuinely thankful I get to do what I do.
I can only imagine that his parents enjoyed this, too.
Mothering is what I wanted to do when I grew up, too. But I don’t think I knew it. And because of the responses I got when stating my other ideas (architect, designer, actor, then doctor later on), I wouldn’t have thought to say it. I loved telling adults my big plans and getting support for my lofty dreams.
If he maintains these priorities as the days of time are dealt, others will witness true fortune. And if we can demonstrate to our children these priorities, maybe more of them will say the same thing. And just maybe we will figure out a way to support families who choose to put priorities in this order by providing flexible work schedules. We can dream…
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DrV says
The prescience of kids sometimes, amazing. I have these experiences periodically and I need to seize the moment and capture them. Nice post, Wendy. Thanks for sharing.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Thanks, DrV.
Yes, the prescience does amaze. But I had to look the word up to confirm that I knew what you meant. If any of you are like me (lacking in vocab) here’s the definition (with pronunciation):
https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/prescience
Nancy M. Silva, MD says
There was “talk” about your blog via one of the AAP listservs. I just wanted to tell you how much I’m enjoying it. this story especially touched me. These are the days it’s beyond great to be a pediatrician. How lucky we are to offer positive reinforcement!
Chris Johnson says
Pediatricians consistently have among the highest job satisfaction ratings of any medical specialty. There’s a good reason for that — we get to spend our work days doing what you’ve described.
Katie says
Aw, what a great story! I’ll bet his parents were really proud!
Molly says
Love this story! Thanks for sharing. I always wanted to be a mom when I grew up. My kindergarten teacher was so excited when she found out I was pregnant (at age 28!) because she remembered that I had chosen “mom” on our career day. Best wishes you to your patient and congratulations to his dad for being such a wonderful role model.
Jen says
this boy’s dad should be very proud of the impact he has made on his sons life. More kids need dads like this.
Bruce says
You never know how you are going to impact your little patients.
My daughter loved her pediatrician and as young as five or six years old, declared that she wanted to be a doctor someday – largely I think due to his influence.
It was fun to watch her stay on track to this goal over the next twenty-five years and today she’s working as a Family Practice MD in North Carolina.
So thank you for the positive impact you make on your little patients.
DrV says
Just caught you dictionary jab. Funny. What’s funnier is that if flew spontaneously from my caffeinated head. Gotta watch that stuff.
Julie says
Sounds like he is a natural born politician! What a charmer!
Harrytimes says
My four year old tells everyone he wants to be a stay-at-home dad– I love it!
Jeffrey Hermann says
If only more boys were encouraged to let that be their first ambition! I think it was mine, but I never really spoke it until I actually had kids. It’s not really acceptable like it is for girls. If we want our boys to be more present and involved in their families, we should let them know that being a father is an admirable life goal.