1 “Daddy!” This from O when I say (and coach him), “Say, Mommy, O. Say, Mommeeeee.” Every time I walk in the door, same thing, “Daddddddeeeeeee!” He likes getting a rise out of me. Lovely little rug rat. Then F starts the day today clearing up what we call each other, “O calls you Daddy, I call you Mommy.” True.
2 “Toddler Doula, where do I find one?” The husband said this to me after his cup of coffee on Sunday morning after another night of frequent awakenings in our house.
3 “Which brain did you put in this morning?” The husband to me, 7:43am today. I forgot where the oatmeal was after saying I forgot that I bought it while instantly forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence. I claimed I was distracted by all the sleep I got last night (8 straight hours, Sista). And a study this month said pregnancy or motherhood does not make us forgetful. What to blame then?
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Stephanie says
8 straight hours of sleep… !!! I would love to hear your thoughts on the various sleep training/ sleep better methods and books out there. I am currently struggling 4-6 times per night with my breastfeeding, very cuddly 9 month old, and I am tempted to try Ferber’s method, but I have heard so many conflicting things about it that I am feeling super emotional and not sure what to do! We have read everything from Sears and Pantley to Ferber and Weisbluth, but they all say something different, and I am at a loss. I don’t have enough energy to try a method that requires intensive middle of the night effort… any thoughts? Thanks so much!
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Well, Stephanie, know this: you’re not alone! Lots of parents struggle with sleep issues around 9 months due to changing sleep patterns for your baby, the rise of separation anxiety in babies at that age, gross motor development (like learning to stand) and the expectation that many of us have that our babies should be sleeping through the night. Just having a different expectation can leave us even more frustrated. Lots of parents find themselves utterly confused on what voice to listen to (which book or “method”) about sleep. I have read Sears, and Pantley’s (The No Cry Sleep Solution–a favorite of mine) and Ferber. Not many others because the more I read the more confused and overwhelmed I felt. The real answer to your question is simple, then complicated: Listen to the voice that YOU LIKE THE BEST. That’s the answer. Figure out which one rings true for you, makes you feel most comfortable as far as strategy. Then, make a plan and STICK WITH IT. Consistency is by far the most important part of what you do. Far more important than what method you choose. If you fluctuate on strategies and do something different each night, like you, your child will be left confused. Make a plan (if that be Pantley’s not letting them cry and following their cues or Ferber’s letting them cry it out for longer and longer periods) and implement it. All these techniques or “methods” are all different because they are from different people, with different kids, and different family values/ideas about sleep. No one voice is RIGHT per se, or all these books wouldn’t sell. Right? The easiest for you may not be what you think. But sit down with your spouse and figure out which method matches your instincts. Then stick to the plan so your baby knows what to expect. In my mind, I’d let your little one learn to cry it out. They are resilient and can do this! They will learn to calm themselves down if you can endure listening to the process of them doing just that….Good luck and know that sleep will come, eventually.
molly says
ha. well, i had my first postpartum emotional freakout today. i’d hate to tell you how that went verbatim. let’s just say there was a lot of apologizing. oh and let’s just say i think that study is WRONG! 🙂
Nicole H. says
I wish I’d known of your blog earlier!! I really like muttering #3. Why must us moms go through this? I constently forget what I am saying mid-sentence…I actually just had to scroll back up to see what page I was on why I was typing…OK I was only kidding about that. But I do forget alot and if I can’t blame my children…who can I blame? ~Look forward to reading more of your bloggings!
Viki says
I’d love to blame pregnancy and childbirth but really it’s just simple distraction and fatigue for me. Being a working mom to 1 kid was manageable. The second kid killed my brain. 2 small humans, demanding job, marriage, basic needs, rotations being the ‘snack parent’ at preschool. it’s all too much. I’m reading a book about play and how it helps to restore one’s brain function. I realized i had a play deficit in my busy life. We have family playtime after dinner each night and it has helped me complete my sentences! https://www.amazon.com/Play-Shapes-Brain-Imagination-Invigorates/dp/B002KAORUM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268285890&sr=1-1