I’ve been traveling for a week. Please forgive the silences here. As you can imagine, I’ve been making lots of noise elsewhere. Since I left my little boys and husband early morning last Friday, I’ve been at the AAP national meeting in Boston where I met with many friends and peers, gave a talk at a big conference at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, had the honor to participate in the Mayo Clinic Center For Social Media board meeting, and today I’m speaking about immunizations at the Minnesota Dept of Health’s Got Your Shots conference in Minneapolis. All very exciting and this work and time feels productive on many levels but the leave-taking last Friday left me gutted.
O had been up all Thursday night last week vomiting and we spent the night in the frenzy of clean-up (how many back-up sheets do you have?) and comforting. As the sun rose, I knew I was leaving them for the longest stretch ever. I vividly remember the sound of the car door closing just as I drove away and it wasn’t until about North Dakota, mid-flight, that the ridiculous ache (heart) and nausea associated with leaving started to regress. It’s been busy since I left. The work serves as a very good distraction. But like many of you have heard, I often feel like I’m missing a limb or two when I’m away from my boys.
It was last night when I knew I needed to head home. The Husband mentioned that F had proclaimed it made no sense to travel to the farm (that we usually do) to get a pumpkin when he could simply get one at the grocery store. Clearly logical for a near 5 year-old. But the reason I knew it was time to head home was that my husband agreed.
I’m honored to work and entirely blessed to share my stories and my ideas about working as a pediatrician and writer and working to change health care. But it will never ever take away the role I cherish and hold most dear. That is, my commitment and love for my children and my family. The busier I get, the more clarity I hold. As I speak about striving for balance and making sense of the different hats we wear and batons we pass in our lives as parents and clinicians and children and community members, I must say that never once while away did I worry that I don’t understand priorities. The boys thrive as I do because I am surrounded by committed family and friends who share a similar vision. And they love and hold and care for the boys beautifully while I’m away. As I woke this morning across the street from The Mayo Clinic, what I knew was this: I can’t wait to get home to see those boys and travel to that farm for a beautiful pumpkin, but I really am thrilled to be here in Minnesota and just so happy to help.
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Dr_som says
My 3yo started staying with her nana daily as I started a FT job. Today, my day off, she asked me to please go to work. OUCH. But a clear sign that she is in good hands.
Jackie says
This was a beautiful post! I too left my two young children and husband behind to attend the conference at Mayo this week. The pain we as mothers feel when we have to share our precious time with those outside of our homes is sometimes so hard to justify, and I know I’ve felt like throwing it all away several times, and just holding my babies tight and never leaving them again. But then I think of the future I’m creating for them, the independence I’m teaching my daughter, and the self-sufficient, incoming-earning example I am setting for them, and I’m re-assured that what I’m doing is okay. But non-the-less the heartache remains constant when I’m away and I hate the good-bye.
So I want to thank you for taking a whole week to spread your kindness and self-sacrificing message to those of us in healthcare marketing who so desperately want to see more clinicians open up to the world and sharing their professional opinions outside of the exam room, while encouraging senior leadership to work together to make this possible. Your speech at the Mayo Conference gave a lot of people new hope and your story is a wonderful example to follow. I know I saw a whole new side of doctoring that I, as a patient myself, am hungry for more of, especially from doctors in my area.
Thank you!
Jackie
@jax_johnson
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Thanks, Jackie. Really. I’m so glad it was helpful and I will keep sharing my storing and screaming from the rooftops. We will improve partnership between patients and clinicians. This, I know.
Rhonda Sparks says
Thank you for this post. I too was at the AAP conference as we were exhibiting there with my company, UV Skinz. It was our first time at the conference and it was such a joy to meet so many wonderful doctors and their support staff. I too had the ‘mommy aches’ while away and I too miss the heck out of my family when I’m gone, but your post helped me to realize that the more success I witness with my company and raising awareness about the need for sun protection, especially in the littlest members of our families, the more I too realize I have my priorities straight and thus, the time I do spend with my kiddos and my husband is that much more cherished and coveted. Thanks again for a great post. I hope you enjoyed your time at your conferences. I would have loved to have met you as I have really enjoyed the messages you give about sun protection for kids and I have really enjoyed reading your posts. Perhaps we’ll meet next year at the AAP conference in New Orleans? We had such a huge success at this past one that we already signed up for the next one! 😉 Take Care, Rhonda
Sue Woods says
YOU deserved that standing ovation you got at Mayo Clinic. Wonderful, terrific presentation! We all were privileged to hear from you in person!
As a fellow physician blogger (pro bono) and mother of 2 boys, the travel takes a toll. Perhaps like me, you have an amazing husband who makes it all possible at ALL (and who also blogs on https://www.DriveEVs.com). Great meeting you!
Stacy says
Thank you so much for taking the time to travel to Minnesota to share your ideas with us at the Got Your Shots conference. I am a LPN in a pediatric practice in northern Minnesota and also a mom of two. I am very active and passionate about getting our immunization rates higher since I live in one of Minnesota’s targeted MIIC high risk counties. I am a first time EVER blogger now after being inspired by you today….thank you again for teaching me something new today. I cannot wait to introduce my patients to you and your blog/101 videos!
Thanks again…Stacy
Katie says
I am staring down the barrel of a two week work training away from Will and Emma, and I know that I will have the same feelings about leaving them. It’s good to know that I am not alone in the mixed emotions.
Shelly says
Dr. Swanson,
Leaving my family behind as well, I echo the comments of the previous posts in that the value that we all got from hearing you speak at Mayo is just something that cannot be explained. Your message is so inspiring and I know we all hope that we can find our very own SeattleMamaDoc.
As our new blog (https://www.discoveracmc.com) has grown, we use you as a source of inspiration as we trudge forward into the blogging world connecting our medical providers with our patient communities.
I hope to find you on a conference agenda again in the future!
Warm regards!
Shelly
Kelly L Ross, MD says
“Mommy!!”, the words my triplets screamed from the window when they pulled up to pick me up at St. Louis airport on my return from the Mayo Social Media Conference. Like all of you returning home from the conference, I was SO happy to get home to them, get my arms around them. Today, surrounded by medical students and residents learning to be pediatricians, I talked excitedly about social media and all the potential it has to allow us to care for our patients and for each other. Dr. Swanson, you’re accomplishing your mission for patients, no question. But also, another one. This vehicle, social media, alllows us as doctors to care for our patients. It also allows us to care better for the human part of each other. In that conference room at Mayo, there were cheers, and tears and clapping. I think many in medicine remembered something in themselves that they may have temporarily forgotten. It was really fun to watch!
For myself, as I sat there in the nursery today, watching the residents and med students listen to the ideas I brought home, for the millionth time, I thought how lucky I am. My first love, my children, reminds and inspires me to travel away for short visits, enduring that mommy ache, so that my second love, my career caring for children, can grow and make me an inspired, excited person and thus a wonderful example for my first love, my children. How lucky I am to have such a terrific life as both a mom and pediatrician?
Keep inspiring us! Say a little prayer the “spark” will take here in the midwest!
Thanks for everything. Hope to see you in March.
Amanda Tsui says
What a sweet post! Luckily I don’t have to travel for work but I can’t stand being away from my daughter even for overnight. I thought it was harder when she was an infant…I was referred to do an overnight sleep study for potential sleep apena couple years ago. I was stressed out about the appointment for weeks and finally canceled it 48 hours prior (the lastest cancelation time allowed). After I hung up the phone, I was so relief…
Then last year I had to go back to Asian for a funeral and not taking my daughter with me did not cross my mind at all! I rather spent the extra dough, hauled all the baby gear with me, AND put up with weeks of “sleep re-training” than away from her for 10 days.
The challenge will be coming up again. I’m scheduled for a back surgery in a few weeks and am required to spend a night at the hospital. This will be the FIRST time ever I’m away from my daughter overnight and over 24 hours. I think I won’t chicken out this time because she is now older and it’s a much-needed surgery. I agreed with the previous post, my daughter is probably joyful to send me away for a night and have grandma, who she only sees couple weeks a year, all to herself to boss around.