It’s a snow day. Snow day is a word combination in the English language that has two meanings, divergent and separately defined only by age. To a 5 year old–“snow day” sounds a little bit like “Nir-va-na”–a day that is one of life’s greatest gifts. To a 37 year-old with a few jobs, it sounds a little bit more like “stresssssss.” Snow days, of course, often leave us without child care, without a school system, and without a back-up plan. And when our work doesn’t stop, we’re left juggling a set of very cold knives.
It would be nice to exist in a culture where snow day meant the same to all of us—a perfect reason for a big gasp in the productivity machine. Play and a little more unrestricted, unscheduled time outside is good for all of us. But that’s the onerous and stark reminder we get on days like today: we really are grown-ups and there is work to be done. And since snow days aren’t a national phenomenon, those of us that collaborate with others outside of our community, “snow day” sounds a little like a fake cough when it comes to an excuse for extending a deadline…
Don’t get me wrong, safety should always remain a priority. We should fiercely protect our children from driving and walking on roads with moving traffic when it’s icy and snowy; we should stay off roads when we are urged to do so. I’m not saying schools and routine businesses shouldn’t shut down. I think we need help juggling and understanding the multiple demands on our attention even when weather intervenes. We need a plan. Our work doesn’t stop demanding our attention and sometimes our bosses’ priorities aren’t aligned with our own.
Many of us share childcare with neighbors or our relatives when the inches add up. Sometimes we divide up the day as dual-working parents. But any way you plow it, you’re likely feeling a sense of stress when the snow flies. So I wonder, can you share your wisdom here?
How do you get done what needs to get done while also celebrating the beautiful gown of snow? We must balance demands while maintaining a sincere presence on these days. As a Minnesotan, I had plenty of snow days and I remember them vividly. My mom was a big part of them. I really want to witness those snow angels today. But doing so without conflict and stress remains elusive for me and many parents I know…
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Teresa says
You have to be fortunate to work for a flexible company. In my position I can really say I’m working from home if need be (just not frequently) – and it is likely I might actually get more accomplished being away from the never ending parade of phone calls and office drop-ins. You might even get a load of laundry done while you’re at it!
The best part, of course, is you get an unexpected day at home with your child. (And end the day wishing you were a stay-at-home mom, at least part time.)
I have also been known to use the child care facility at my son’s school. (He calls it \jail.\) Two hours after school hours is fine. 8-5 is torture for him. this leaves you feeling guilty and dealing with a crabby child later.
In healthcare – we don’t get snowdays. That’s why every once in a while we also get what sounds like a fake cough – better known as a mental health day.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
“He calls it jail.” That’s hilarious (and also understandable). I felt similarly about an in-home daycare that my mom left me at rarely as a child.
In healthcare, “presenteeism” is an issue (docs and clinicians going to work while ill) as no back-up for providers exits. Our assistants and nurses call in (and have back-up teams to assist), but docs don’t. Many docs pride themselves on never missing a work day in 10 years, etc. I’ve called in sick rarely –and when I did, I felt an incredible amount of guilt for the patients that had to reschedule. Further, patients trickle in for visits after a missed day in clinic and remind me of their need to reschedule, too…more guilt.
So, yes, flexibility is an amazing gift when it comes to employment but few people have family friendly work environments.
read this: https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/19/family-friendly-jobs-and-the-new-reality/
Thanks for the comment!
another Jill says
Living in Atlanta, I never thought I’d be sharing my wisdom on this topic! But last year when Snowmageddon hit Atlanta and shut down the city for a full week, we got a lot of practice. If you want to know how we all really felt about that week, check out the graph of “Georgian’s Enjoyment of Snow Over Time” at https://lockerz.com/s/69613956.
I took my son and the dog out early on Day 1, while the snow was still soft and falling. We got great pictures, made snowballs and a snowman family and of course, snow angels. We thought for sure we’d have this one great snow day and then the play would be over, so most of us weren’t too focused on work. But as the week progressed and Atlanta’s 4 snowplows made their very limited rounds, it got a lot more stressful. My husband and I took turns hanging out with our son while the other one worked. We synced up our calendars so we didn’t have conflicting conference calls. We let our clients and partners across the country know what was going on and they were all pretty sympathetic. Our son had WAY more screen time than usual. I had to just let that go. Desperate times, desperate measures, right? We found out that some of the Disney daytime programming was actually enjoyable to watch as a family. I kept our son on his usual schedule and took advantage of naptimes. When he was awake, we abandoned our home offices and worked on our laptops from the couch, so either one of us could play with our son when he needed some engagement. We worked after our son went to bed at night.
Luckily we had someone just down the street (which thankfully wasn’t iced over) who started watching our son halfway through Day 3. At that point we realized how much more time we had to work than our local colleagues without childcare, and took the opportunity to work on those “wish list” projects from work. We didn’t have any work emergencies and my husband wasn’t on call, so we were grateful for that. I took stock of all the positives/blessings/small favors during that week and tried to ride a tiny wave of gratitude so I didn’t take out any frustrations on my family.
I also made cookies. Multiple batches and different kinds and we had taste tests. Don’t know why, but it seemed like the thing to do. Hard for my husband and I to wring our hands while eating those cookies and laughing about the “perks” of a snow week. All in all, I think we just had to have acceptance of the situation and repeat “it is what it is” like a mantra. Because really, we had no other choice in the matter.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
another Jill, the graphic is stupendous. And I honestly just love your instinct to make cookies. Somehow, it just seems innate.
Heather says
Perfect post for our household today! My husband is an accountant and is trying to get financials done. I’m trying to keep up with work as well while nursing a cold. Our twins are out in the snow with the neighbor kids. My son has a broken ankle that I should be monitoring closely as he’s under orders to only build stuff in the snow — no snowball fights or running. I’ve been out once to cram in some memory-making snow time with mom. My huband (almost said “the husband,” but I think you’ve copyrighted that term) will take a stint in a bit. Ahhh, the juggling we do!
Jen says
I am so very lucky to be a SAHM and my husband can work from home. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a doctor and a mom in this situation. I am so very thankful for you Docs out there. three years ago in the middle of our massive snow storm of 2008 I went into labor with my son. I had to get from Everett to Seattle at 2:30 in the morning after stashing my daughter with a friend on Christmas(and we are Jewish). I am so thankful for all the medical staff who were able to make it through the ice and snow to make sure my son and I were OK. He was born by emergency c-section on the 25th of December. I love a day to just stay home with my kiddos. No therapy for my son, no school, no work. Just lots of playing, cookies, hot chocolate and snuggles. But I also thankful when the snow melts and life returns to normal.