We went out for sushi on Friday at one of those mall-type restaurants that has little pieces of sushi spinning around the perimeter of the kitchen on a conveyer belt. The gimmick is genius for families with young children. The boys were starving and urged that the sushi spot was their choice for our night out. The conveyer belt provides instantaneous food and also fulfills the need for entertainment. As any normal parent knows, that’s a recipe for perfection. More than half of the people in the restaurant (at 5pm) had kids our boys’ age. It was a typical meal until the most wonderful thing happened: my son proved the husband wrong.
Boys 1, Husband 0.
As the food spun around, the boys eyed their favorites: avocado rolls, noodles, and nori. O asked about the orange “bubbles” he kept seeing. F announced that they were fish eggs. O instantly wanted to try them… The husband:
You won’t like those.
O paused.
I said:
Wait, How do you know? Try one!
Since O is obsessed with power struggles, mentioning he won’t like them ups the ante for desire. In the world of reverse psychology, we win. And although we’re not necessarily vying for fish eggs to be a big part of the boys’ diet, we are striving for ongoing fearlessness when it comes to new foods. They really do eat all the same food we do and we want them trying everything offered their way.
The punchline is obvious (see photos). He not only enjoyed the eggs, he licked the plate and asked for more. F then threw back 2 piles as well.
When it comes to food: don’t assume anything, offer everything, and try, try, try again. Borrowing from Ellyn Satter’s division of responsibility, I say this:
- The job of every parent is to offer young children nutritious and diverse food.
- The job of every child is to eat when hungry and stop when full.
We almost missed the mark and drove past an opportunity for something new. Fortunately O got lucky–we’ll see how long the fish egg desire persists.
Isabelle says
Those are the points I am always happy to lose and be wrong! I love it. I especially appreciate your wisdom in the last line, about not knowing how long that particular interest will last. I’ve learned to never assume a favorite remains a favorite the next day or the next week! Thanks for sharing the positive anecdote.
Robyn says
Love the post! Tobiko (flying fish roe) is my 4 y/o’s FAVORITE!(I think there’s something about the texture there…) We had to laugh out loud last month when we couldn’t find sushi and asked him if a burger and fries would be OK, to which he pouted, “I WANTED SUSHI! I DON’T WANT A BURGER!!!” Exposure is key-kids won’t get stuck in the mac and cheese/chicken nugget/hot dog rut if they are offered more than that from the get-go!
Shelly Butler says
Wendy, It’s so good to be reminded of this stuff. I really appreciate the simple wisdom in the “division of responsibility” rules. I routinely pass my flavor/texture biases on to my kids. We love the conveyor-belt sushi joints, but I typically tell my kids they’ll really just like the noodles and edamame. Both of which we have at home! Next time, I’ll grab the fish eggs with a smile, and I’ll see what they do. And while I’m at it, I’ll try them, too. Maybe I could use a little diversity, as well!
Jules says
Thanks so much for this encouragement–I feel like at 19 months, Clara is still struggling with basic vegetables, and sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I’m running out of patience and creativity! I really appreciate your joint commitment to exposing the kiddos to everything you eat–it’s inspiring! Thanks, Wendy!
Ted Leng says
Wendy, I have a 2 year old right now and was wondering what you recommend as to the earliest age for eating raw fish and fish eggs. Can I start my daughter on tuna rolls now? Thanks.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE says
Yes, no reason you can’t start her now. Why not? Her digestion/immune function/sense of adventure is no less than yours. Have fun!
Jessica says
Good on O for taking up the challenge! 🙂
I’m so glad you mentioned Ellyn Satter. Her book “How to Get Your Kid to Eat. . . But Not Too Much” is just brilliant and I think every parent should read it.