The news of the shooting in Newtown, Conneticut this morning is beyond horrific. Nauseating and troubling, it’s left me sobbing at my computer to think of the anguish families face. And the lesser anguish we all feel right now. To think of the lost hope and the lost efforts of all those that work so hard to protect children and those who work to educate them. And the loss of safety in another school.
The news from Newtown is agonizing. The loss is unthinkable.
And I’ll tell you this: there are days I wake up and wonder, “Am I doing this right?” or “How can I balance my life and work to improve the lives of children ?” or “Can I really speak my mind?” And then there are moments like this, where it’s clear.
Here’s my mind:
- I believe we have an obligation to fight to protect children from guns in the hands of the crazy, the wild, the intolerant, and the careless.
- I believe it’s really difficult to figure out who is crazy, wild, intolerant, and careless.
- I believe gun control should have been yesterday’s topic, not today’s. Lives could have been saved. I believe politicians must put politics aside and create a safer United States now.
- I believe the President of the United States has a moment to make change.
- I believe that guns have no place in our homes.
- I believe we must keep demanding improved understanding and education for we parents about how to get automatic weapons out of civilian hands.
- I believe I am hardly alone on this. Even so, when I write about gun control I get angry responses.
- I believe this: WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING—safe communities, healthy children, and opportunity for long lives.
Tell me what I can do to make a bigger difference. And please tell me what you’re going to do.
Tips from Pediatrician Dr Besser on talking with children about tragedy (this was filmed after Aurora shooting) and tips from Dr Robert Hilt at Seattle Children’s. Easiest first step is likely to just turn off the news…
John says
We all want the same thing, but abolishing rights isn’t the way to go about it. Automatic weapons (which this probably wasn’t) aren’t all that common, are very expensive (tens of thousands of dollars!) and are not illegal at the federal level.
A nutjob in china went crazy with a knife (sword?) on 22 kids yesterday. Determined idiots will find a way, no matter what the law says.
Lives could have been saved by addressing whatever this guy’s problem was with the school, well before it got to this point.
Hug your kids extra today. I know I will.
Kahthleen Berchelmann says
Dear Wendy Sue,
Thanks so much for getting this post up so quickly. Your fortitude and commitment towards our country and child well-being is very beautiful. I always enjoy reading your work. And yes, you can express your heart-felt thoughts and opinions. Those who do not respect your views do not recognize your true passion for children and parenting. Bridge building is important, but bridges built without passion aren’t strong.
I just talked to my 3 and 6 year old kids about the Newtown shooting.
We’ve become a country where school shootings and family homicides have become so common that I’m barely surprised by the news. My husband and I continue to grieve over the growing culture of violence in our country, a culture than many people refer to as “the culture of death.”
Here is what we are doing to heal this culture of violence:
– We teach that all life is precious. We teach our children never to resort to violence except to protect their own life. This means that we, as parents, cannot be violent, ruthless, or hard-hearted, either. We’ve had to tame our own anger. When we focus on the value of life, we become better parents and better people.
– We encourage parents. Parenting is perhaps the most powerful tool to help people learn the meaning of mercy. Filling hearts with mercy prevents violence.
– Teaching non-violence at home is hard. Even legos are violent. Parents need support. This is where blogging comes it for me. Mom/dad bloggers need to tell our honest stories about how we teach our children the value of human life and the evil of violence. I’ve written about why I stopped spanking my kids. I want to write about saying no to violent toys. I have a lot more to say, but like you I worry that I will burn bridges instead of building them.
– We’ve found we have to talk to our kids about ugly topics like war and abortion much earlier than we want to. What do you say when your kids ask about the pictures of aborted babies that are displayed outside a church that their school bus drives by twice a day? Our kids were very opinionated from an early age that abortion is wrong. Thankfully I have the freedom to agree with them.
– I remain pessimistic that stronger gun legislation will reduce violent crime. I think crazy people would still have access to illegal guns, just like drug addicts still have access to illegal drugs. Perhaps I am wrong on this. I hope I am wrong. Here are my thoughts on gun ownership: https://childrensmd.org/browse-by-topic/guns-and-kids-do-they-ever-belong-under-the-same-roof/
Thanks, Wendy Sue.
Kathleen Berchelmann, MD, FAAP
Pediatric Hospitalist
St. Louis Children’s Hospital and Washington University
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE says
Thank you so much for your words and all of your hard work, Dr Berchelmann. Really love what you said about those bridges but also about life being precious. Teaching that value instinctively seems like a wonderful, hopeful angle.
Effzee says
“Banning weapons is not culture shaping, it is just law. Shaping culture starts with how we educate our youth on how to place value on community & our place in Mother Nature.” – Angelica Faith Santana
Heather says
I’m pretty sure our founding fathers didn’t foresee the weapons we have today. Back then, they had shotguns that fired one shot at a time and took awhile to reload. Even if he didn’t have automatic weapons, he could have had semi-automatic guns, which are no joke either. I’m also pretty sure that none of the founding fathers saw children being massacred at school, a place where they should be able to feel safe. Times have changed, and our laws should be updated to reflect that. It’s time to put politics aside and save kids instead. I’m betting if your kid was at the school, your song and dance would be a bit different.
Justin says
Actually our “founding fathers” had ultra crude black powder rifles that’d cause MUCH more damage to the human body than a standard modern day pistol. A more primitive shotgun known as the blunderbuss used any ammo that could be stuffed down a barrell (silverware, knifes, nails, marbles, etc.) also far less accurate, resulting in more collateral damage than you see today.
Rather than going on a “gun witch hunt”, i think some questions need to be asked before we can come up with answers. first thing that comes to mind, why were two unsecured pistols with zero trigger locks in this woman’s house (RIP), while her son with a severe personality disorder lived under the roof? why were they not in a safe?
Had one simple step been taken by this woman to ensure her firearms were safe and secure, there’s a great possibility none of this would have ever happened the way it happened. That’s not saying it’d fix this man’s unmatched sick insanity, but yesterday could’ve been completely different.
Paul Scanlon says
Well said Wendy Sue. Thank you.
KKH RN says
I believe you are correct, doctor. I stand with you and vow to voice concern, gently and firmly, that we must take action to prevent future tragedies.
Thank you for your heartfelt wise words above. Speak, we must.
-a Mom and nurse
Ellen Kuwana says
Exactly! Thank you for mentioning this important point.
BME says
I don’t think right now is the appropriate time to discuss gun control laws and such, before that is done we need to do a root cause analysis of what allowed this 20 year old boy to get to the point of being sick enough to go into a classroom full of innocent kindergartners and start shooting. He was obviously very mentally ill, and that went completely unnoticed by his family, friends, and the medical community. Guns by nature aren’t the problem, it’s the sick people behind them pulling the trigger. If we could turn attention to that, it would be a step in the right direction. If people are sick enough they will figure out a way to carry out heinous crimes and in the end the result will be the same.
BookMama says
BME – if now is not the “appropriate time” to discuss gun control laws – then WHEN is the appropriate time? We should have been discussing serious gun control for years, even decades. If there’s a “too soon” after a shooting has occurred, then I fear there will never be a “now.”
A few years ago, I wrote about something that had solidified my opinions on gun control. It’s safe to say that in the 20+ years since that happened, my opinions have only gotten stronger.
Dr. Swanson, bravo for your post. I agree with you wholeheartedly. What can you do? Keep doing what you’re doing. Write about it, talk to parents about it, talk to your teen patients about it.
Rachel says
John, What happened in China was awful. Twenty two children injured, but not 22 children killed. If anything, the contrast is an argument for stricter gun regulation. Sir, I will respectfully disagree with you regarding the gun laws, but perhaps we can agree that mental health support in this country is severely lacking? In addition I hope I am mistaken in my reading of your comment. Are you suggesting that the problem was somehow the schools with this line “Lives could have been saved by addressing whatever this guy’s problem was with the school,” ? I hope that I am mistaken and you have not just blamed the victims.
Wendy, I think we start with what you’ve said here and we work backwards. “WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING—safe communities, healthy children, and opportunity for long lives.”
Let’s describe a safe community, perhaps a less violent culture. How do we move toward that? At each point what can most of us agree upon?
I read this in the Christian Scientist earlier today, “the ultimate solution lies in each individual understanding that these shooters act out of the same anger, fear, and hopelessness that their violence evokes in us.
We cannot afford – as individuals or as a society – to keep mirroring their motivating angst.
The best antidote is to embrace the opposite of those thoughts and feelings. These include empathy, calmness, mercy, hope, and openness, all of which have as much substance to deter killings over time as do metal detectors in the moment.”
How can we do this in our communities? I’m thinking about what this might look like in my community, in my neighborhood. How can I reach out and be more open, more calm, more hopeful and more empathetic in my community. Today, we are in shock, tomorrow we will grieve, but the time to act was yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Julie says
@John – that nut job in China? At least those kids lived and were wounded…never bring a knife to a gun fight right? https://www.cnn.com/2012/12/14/world/asia/china-knife-attack/index.html?hpt=hp_bn2 Easy access to guns isn’t the only problem but it sure isn’t helping matters. And by definition they can do whole lot more damange a whole lot quicker. https://scienceblogs.com/thepumphandle/2012/07/23/gun-violence-is-a-u-s-public-health-problem/ from the link: “Gun violence is uniquely an American problem compared to other industrialized countries. The rate of gun-related deaths per 100,000 individuals in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom is 0.1, 0.5, and 0.03, respectively. In the U.S., the overall rate is 2.98. And that overall rate doesn’t tell the full story. In some cities, the rates are five to ten times that number.”
Mona says
Thank you, Dr. Swanson. You always have wise words and kind, sincere thoughts to offer. On this senseless day, I knew I could come to your blog for a little mental and emotional salve.
This is the time to talk about gun control, to make a turning point in this country- to try to be wiser and kinder. To try to learn from this.
Yes, there will always be troubled, mentally I’ll people. This us not an excuse to shrug our shoulders and say “what can you do?”. Because we can do something- we can work to try to identify and treat those people better and we can certainly work to limit their access to weapons that can cause such heartache in mere instants. Weapons which, as Heather mentioned, our Founding Fathers never imagined. Weapons to which no citizen needs access. Would it be perfect and prevent all weapons from getting into the wrong hands? Of course not, but we must try, we need to do our best as a nation to stop the sad, senseless days like today.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE says
Thanks, Mona
Scott says
I place myself, as a physician and as a parent, firmly on the side of the sanctity and preciousness of life and against gun control. Read your history books, people. Sinful human nature will NOT change, no matter how many gun laws we have. The real battle starts in people’s minds, spirits, and souls – cultural violence, the de-valuing of life and people in general, and the causes of mental illness (largely due to the abortion of the Family) are the underlying issues here. Guns are tools, and in this context, deterrents. We must combat the real issues, and not the manifestations of them; because we haven’t done this, these events continue to happen…
Jen says
What is “Abortion of the family”? (I am not being snide, I really don’t know what you’re referring to.)
Kristy says
I beleive you are right.
Cletus Jenkins says
I agree that safety is of the utmost importance, but not at the removal of liberties granted to us by the founding fathers of the country, but of those same rights which allow you the freedom to write whatever you want on your blog. Take away the 2nd amendment? why not the 1st as well? Think about it.
guns aren’t for everyone, and I’m happy to hear (through interpretation of your post) that you likely don’t have any. keep them in the hands of people that understand and respect them, and away from the crazies, and gun haters. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that you should remove everyone’s rights. I don’t like getting shots from the doctor, should we take shots and vaccinations away from everyone then?