As promised, this is my first video post. It’s 11:30pm Sunday night. It took a while to coordinate. This was take number 2. I waited for the sun (going against my previous post about when NOT to work) as that cloudy Friday light was too drab. Especially for sleep deprived parents. This afternoon it was sunny; proof that Seattle-ites really do see the sun.
This is a post about sleep. How to help your baby (and you) get more of it. What to do when you don’t know what sleep routine or method to follow. Which books to listen to and which to pass on to your friends.
There is no universal truth or method that is good for all parents. Rather, each sleep book or method caters to certain parenting styles and certain baby temperaments. The method you choose is less important than how you implement it. Consistency is essential in helping your baby sleep through the night. Pick a plan and follow through.
Read this summary of expert advice on interpreting sleep methods and talk with your pediatrician if you get confused. Or tired. Or both. And watch this video (click on full post to see it).
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Paul Herman says
Hooray! That was so awesome. It’s great to see you on video. I vote for more of it. You might want to consider somewhere inside or a bit more protected from ambient sound/wind/strange light. But even that wasn’t too distracting. You are a natural video blogger! Also, thanks for the baby sleeping tips. Luckily, my babies are pretty good sleepers by now, but that’s only because they are 7 years old. They were not so great at 7 months.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Thanks, Paul. We will move the shoots inside, most certainly and I appreciate your support and enthusiasm. Was nice to show the world our Seattle sunshine. Lucky you, sleeping through the night. You give all those parents of infants and toddlers hope for the future, even if it does take us 6 more years…
Claire says
Brilliant! I love the post (and the video), and I really think that this is the most important message for parents and one that really is true. Follow your instincts and follow through – very wise. Thanks again, Mama Doc!
Stephanie says
Thanks. This is really validating and reassuring for me, which is really what I was looking for the most! We have decided to try Ferber’s graduated extinction along with his schedule for weaning slowly off of night nursing, starting TONIGHT! We have a plan, and even if my husband has to sit on me for us to have the key follow through, we can make it happen. I really appreciate your insights!
Marta Bull says
I love this idea of a blog about needing sleep (I do). I currently have a 1 yr old who goes to sleep very well, but wakes up at 5 AM, and is often fussy within a couple of hours (suggesting to me he could sleep longer). He often falls asleep in his lunch at daycare (they are on a regular sleep schedule). I was hoping the transition to a regular sleep schedule would make him sleep more. On the weekends, he is a rotten napper (big sister is too fun), but is generally cheerful. Is there anyway to encourage him to sleep longer in the morning?
Thank you for any insight
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
@Martha, I don’t know that I have great advice. But I will say this, there really are kids that just rise earlier than others. I expect as the year unfolds, your baby will sleep later and later.
A few other ideas:
1) you baby should be sleeping close to 14 hours total in a day. Is your child doing that? If not, it’s possible that early awakening and then crankiness are a sign of sleep deprivation. Does your child get two naps (when tired) during the day? And 14 hours or so of sleep?
2) Some kids who are tired and earlier risers need an earlier, not later bed time. Have you ever tried moving up bed time?
3) You can try light canceling blinds, etc, but you also may want to try to soothe your baby at 5am and see if they will go back to sleep? I’m assuming you have tried but is it worth another go?
whew–see, no rocket science. Hope that helps. Keep your routine both in AM and at bedtime, that is by far the most important
Viki says
What bothers me about the sleep advice in books is when someone comes out and says “your child does NOT need to eat at night.” It seems a very popular belief in the pediatric community that once a child reaches some magic weight or age–bam!–they can suck down enough calories at 7pm to last them through 7am. I think this sets up false eoxpectations in parents about what their child should be able to do. What I found helpful was reading more unconventional books that suited my perspective as a parent. I found Elizabeth Pantley’s advice her very practical. Also, her explanation about naps and bedtimes really changed our family life for the better. I also found Dr Sears’ Baby Sleep book comforting. The main thing I took away from him was to follow my instincts, as you say, and also to surround myself with people who supported my parenting choices. In the end, I changed pediatricians, too. Quite by coincidence, my new pediatrician also had a hungry, sleepless baby. When I told her that I decided to co-sleep because it’s the only way any of us got what we needed (sleep, sustenance, comfort?) she didn’t scold but said, “me, too!”
Re: 5am wakings: both my kids woke at 5 until they were 9-10 months. Ferber has an excellent explanation about how some stimulus wakes them during the last light sleep transition and the final chunk of deep sleep is “separated” into an early morning nap. For both my kids, that stimulus was hunger. First, it’s genuine hunger. Then it becomes a regular meal time. We were able to correct the problem by increasing daytime calories. We are lanky people with fast metabolisms. Our kids are, too. Once the kids were able to eat enough solids (3 meals) and have a hearty dinner, they slept through the 5am wakeup call.
Wendy Sue Swanson, MD says
Viki, I think your feeling about sleep books makes a lot of sense. It really does help to find a community around you that agrees with your instincts and experiences. And has simply shared your experience, too. Makes it all seem so much easier.
Not all kids are the same (of course) hence why finding a book that resonates really helps. Thanks for this–sure lots of people will feel better reading it!
Uma says
Hello!
This is the first time I’ve gotten into this forum as I’m now becoming desperate for help! Our LO has been a great sleeper around 6 months old, but now just turned 1 last week and for the past month has been getting up 2-3 times a night for a bottle, and it is becoming very difficult. I know that we have to break the association with bottle/sleep, but do you suggest anything else? He goes to bed around 8-8:30pm, wakes up at 12:30ish, 4:30ish and then is up for the day at 5:30 or 6am. He naps well (2X/day), but needs to sleep well at night. He is a good eater and has pretty good meals, but he is also 1 and it is a work in progress. Any ideas would be great. Personal sleep coaching would be even better! My husband and I both work full time and it is really becoming tough.
Thanks!