Dr Stephen Ludwig, one of my most treasured mentors from medical school gave a speech last year that he entitled, “Striving For Polygamy.” I didn’t get to hear it live but I’ve read the speech many times since then. He wasn’t talking about polygamy like you’d expect. Rather, he spoke to the goal of balancing a set of marriages described by the poet David Whyte in his book, The Three Marriages. The goal for all of us might be balancing 3 essential marriages in our lives: a marriage to our family, a marriage to our work, and a marriage to ourselves. Where social and digital media fit into this “polygamy” remains unknown. That’s where we’re all working hard to find harmony with our devices, as seemingly technology lives in all 3 of these spheres.
Think about it. How often do we take the time to put all three of these marriages on the table? I certainly don’t balance these well all the time. Although I believe in compartmentalization, the act of prioritizing ourselves amidst our deadlines while in the presence of our beautiful children is a challenge. Often when we’re raising young children we fall out of balance–the necessary daily tasks in raising children to adulthood take over while pushing other commitments asunder. When coupled with work, our personal care suffers. This imbalance creates a work-family frenzy for so many of us where we’re left with a dearth of time for personal reflection and much less silence.
In a quest for silence, I’m taking a 1 month sabbatical from the blog. Last August I took a sabbatical away from social tools to create more space and time with my children and more time in search of reflection and quiet. Stillness.
Technology and ever-available networks, communities, work inboxes, and devices have incredible and essential utility in improving our lives and our health. But so does the real, quiet world. I’ll be back in September. In the meantime, I’ll be with my family and friends, my patients, and the ever-elusive silence that surrounds us.
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John Lynn says
I hope you enjoy the silence, but I think those of us who read your work will miss the silence on your blog.
Dr_som says
Silence. Soak it up. I think all of us would be more productive and effective with an annual one month sabbatical. Enjoy!!!
DisasterMOM.com says
Appreciate your article and perspective. I think the idea of taking time out for “silence” or “quietness” is ideal and needed so much if you want to recharge. To keep up with my kids schedule, financial challenges, our ever-changing lives with four children make it difficult to take time for myself which includes caring for my body. This stress has caused weight gain and I feel if I am to successfully raise my children, I need to focus on staying healthy. I will be in my 50’s when my youngest daughter is entering elementary school. I must say the title threw me and I wasn’t going to read it until I found out it wasn’t about polygamy at all.